Of course right now you are probably asking the natural question, "Why would we measure a life? What right do we have to do that?", and to be honest, you're probably right - and yet we do. We all measure our lives against other people or against some standard that determines whether we are successful or influential or just better than average. It's the brilliantly exposed heart of humanity from the final scenes of Saving Private Ryan where the now aged Ryan turns to his wife and asks if he's been a good man, if he's lived a good life (cue tears, it gets me every single time...)
When we are in moments of self-reflection, when we are thinking about our place in the world, when we are seeking a sense of 'self' and purpose, or when we just want to know that we have value, these are the times and occasions when we measure our lives and hope that it's all for something.
People measure themselves by various standards: what they own; what they have achieved; how often they are mentioned on Google; how many Facebook friends they have; whether they will leave a 'legacy'; or just whether they are doing better than their neighbour, their work-mates, or the people they grew up with. We measure ourselves by many standards, and unfortunately too many of those standards are determined in relationship to others which means that we are not only measuring our own lives but the lives of other people as well.
So how are we to measure ourselves? How are we to self-reflect and give consideration to our place in the world?
Can I suggest - stories? That we can determine our place, not our value, but our sense of being by the stories that are told about us. Stories are powerful. To a great degree stories give meaning to our lives. We encounter stories in books, on the small screen and the big screen, in the paper, the magazine, or in the next conversation we will have. Stories are all around us and both frame and give context to our lives. When a person passes away we frame our memories of them in words - we tell their story.
The stories people tell about us help us to see ourselves through other's eyes, and the stories we tell ourselves reveal not only how we see ourselves but also who we want to be. The stories may not always be true, even the ones we tell ourselves are often distorted and edited, yet even the untrue, partially true and mostly true all give perspective to who we are and how we are in our world.
The true stories may be good or they may be bad, and that is the beauty and power of the story - they remind us we are human. Even the worst person has glimpses of humanity, and even the best person has moments of selfishness, thoughtlessness, unforgiveness and vindictiveness that cause pain and hurt to others. Stories remind us we will never be so great we cannot fall and never be so lost we cannot find redemption.
Jesus suggested that there is great blessing even in lies and insults when they are because of faith in him. By extension we could also suggest that when good, right and just behaviour precipitates lies and insults then those stories, though bad are actually good, and reveal not only something about ourselves but about those who speak the words. Even Christ was considered a glutton, a drunkard and a friend of the wrong sort of people. Well, one out of three ain't bad, and though his accusers meant their words to be an insult, they were, in fact, a badge of honour.
What are the stories that are told about you? What stories do you wish were told? This is the point at which we start to measure ourselves, the point where we begin to reflect what we need to do (or cease doing) to find a convergence between what is said and what we wish was said. It is true that we should never let ourselves be defined by what people say, but if their words don't inform our understanding of who we are and how we are perceived then that is foolishness.
What stories are told? Who is telling them? And what stories do you tell about others?
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