My wife often wonders why I get so frustrated with other drivers and it's usually because they are so inconsiderate. They can't merge properly, or do the speed limt, or act like they own the road, can't indicate, are in the wrong lane for their turn, are in the right lane for their turn too soon....and I could go on. But it doesn't stop there, I've noticed that a general discourtesy and ignorance towards everyone else is spreading.
I was at a department store on Sunday with one of my sons and I mentioned to him how the two people in front of us were able to walk - slowly - in such a way as to completely block the aisle. It happens in the supermarkets as well with trolleys, or people whose kids are running wild! Our kids never did that!! It just offends me that people are so selfish as to ignore the feelings and comfort of others.
And then I realized, the reason these people were all upsetting me so much wasn't because they were ignorant towards other people (although I'm convinced some are) but was because I was making it all about me. They were infringing on my road and my space and my time. Where I was judging (yes, the 'J' word) the people around I was actually guilty of selfish, egocentric behavior and thinking myself.
I was making it all about me.
That isn't a pleasant or encouraging revelation. I like to think of myself as courteous and polite and concerned for the well-being of other people. I try take seriously the words of Paul, "In humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." (Phil. 2:3-4) no one is great at this, but I try, and in my own mind I do pretty well.....but obviously not.
At our church a few weeks ago I was speaking and alluded to this by confessing that I was actually quite a judgmental person. I've done the Myers-Briggs analysis and I come out as 'perceiving' not 'judging', so this was a bit of a shock to me. Now I realize just how ingrained it is. Despite my best efforts I treat everyone and react to people as though the whole world revolved around me.
And you probably do the same.
We can't help it. I think it's hard wired into us as a survival instinct left over from the days when if I didn't get the mammoth before the other blokes did my family would starve - and heaven help the slow, inconsiderate cave person who got in my way! Times have changed, but we haven't. To behave in the manner that Paul indicates is contrary to both my natural inclination and the culture in which I live. Paul goes on link this mindset with that of Christ, a different way of thinking, acting and being human. This is what we were meant to be, this is what God is leading us towards, this is what the future holds.
I wonder what our communities would look like if we made life less about us. I wonder what justice and poverty and economic equality would be like if we were more concerned with others. I wonder what our churches and worship services would be like if we looked for a church where we could contribute rather than one that fed our consumerist wants. Even more, what if our churches were less concerned with what Sundays looked like and more interested in what we could do every other day of the week? In other words, I wonder what this world would look like if we took Paul's words seriously.
There are a lot of things in my life that need work. Despite my sometimes over-inflated opinion of myself, I have a very long way to go. Like you, I live in a world where the average person is more concerned with themselves than other people, a world that each of us feels revolves around us. But what if it didn't have to be that way, what if it could be different?
Jesus opens that possibility up for us. He shows us and leads us in the way that makes us truly human, true imagers of the God who created us to be his presence in the world and for the world. I wish it were easy, I wish I could say I follow him well, but it's tough, a narrow road that is difficult to walk.
Yet every journey, Confucius tells us, begins with a single step. The first step to this better world, this world where other people really matter, is to recognize that it isn't all about me.
And for that matter, it isn't all about you either - just in case you thought it was....
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